We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
