literally had 100 drinks last night.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
