I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Actions speak louder than pants.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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