I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
