Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
