His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
