I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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