so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
