Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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