I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's official drugs can't kill me
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
