He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
