Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize