"it" just moved
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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