I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
