i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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