went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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