I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
