so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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