We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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