So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
