yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
