You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
