Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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