I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
