pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
