My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
