im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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