I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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