at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
