wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
