where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
