Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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