forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
