is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
