you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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