You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
