I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
