why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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