And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
