first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
