My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
