My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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