so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it's great music for shaving your balls
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
