hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
