I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
