Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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