...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
