I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
