that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
