all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
