maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
