someone get that fucking seahorse.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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