Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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