It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
