she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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