I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
