is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
