I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
