how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
