Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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