yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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