We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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