the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
