Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
