we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
