she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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