that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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