My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
