There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
