Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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