I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
